What’s Your BATNA? The Legal vs. the Emotional Divorce – Part 2

 

Daniel Burns of www.burns-mediator.com outlines two of the most common reasons some people resist divorce mediation.        In divorce mediation, when someone examines his or her BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) they are looking at both the best and worst outcomes if their dispute were to be decided by a Judge. Of course it is often difficult to predict exactly what would happen in court, which is why mediation makes so much sense because it allows people to maintain control over those decisions that impact them the most.

        So why do some people still refuse to consider mediation?

        Based on what I have heard from people who contact my office to schedule a consultation to hear about mediating their divorce, if their spouse is not willing to come in, it is either because they are not ready to let go of the marriage, or they have a concern about the mediation process itself.

        If one spouse is not ready to let go of the marriage, I discuss with that spouse whether the other spouse is likely to change his or her mind, and stay in the marriage. Most of the time the answer I get is “no, they are not going to change their mind.” And while I certainly sympathize with the spouse who desires to stay in the marriage, I do not believe I am serving them properly if I don’t point out that there may come a time when the spouse who initiated the idea of a divorce is unwilling to wait any longer and will feel the need to retain an attorney to “get things moving.”

        The second concern, about the mediation process itself, can be addressed simply by saying that nothing that happens in mediation is binding until a legal document has been prepared and signed by each of you with all the required legal formalities. Each of you may also have any legal documents that I prepare reviewed by your own attorney before you sign them, so there is really no risk.

        So what’s your BATNA? If you want to maintain control over the decisions that are going to have a great impact on your life, and you want to avoid spending thousands of dollars engaged in a hurtful legal battle with your spouse, it seems quite clear that your BATNA is to reach an agreement with your spouse that works for both of you. And that is exactly what we do in mediation.

Call us Today at 518-785-9522
to schedule your
No-Fee Initial Consultation,
for you and your spouse,
so we can answer your questions on
Divorce Mediation, Legal Separation, and/or a Separation/Divorce Agreement
and provide you with a tailored estimate of what you can expect
Or eMail us at
Info@Burns-Mediator.com

Feel free to ask any questions, to comment, or to request more information in the Comments Box below. Also, please forward this blog to anyone you know who would be interested in its topic.

Daniel Burns Divorce Mediator

Daniel R. Burns
Attorney & Mediator
1187 Troy Schenectady Road
Latham, NY 12110
Phone: (518) 785-9522
Fax: (518) 785-9286
E-Mail: info@BurnsMediator.com

Web: www.Burns-Mediator.com
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3 Responses to What’s Your BATNA? The Legal vs. the Emotional Divorce – Part 2

  • Don Sinkov says:

    Greatpoints, Dan. Who would want a stranger(a judge) deciding your fate. The judge doesn’t know you or your family.

  • I’d add to that Dan, by saying that a judge not only doesn’t know you or your family, they really have no emotional ties to you, your children or your interests. Maybe you come out well from their decision or maybe you get surprised and do poorly. Mediation is not only for the moment but also about learning about the other party, their underlying interests, finding common ground, managing differences, making good trades based on each side’s priorities and hopefully learning a respectful manner in which to communicate from this point forward.

  • Great article Dan and so important to bring up. What the other spouse doesn’t yet realize, is that if they don’t agree to at least come in and explore mediation as an option, the alternative is going to be litigation – with all the vitriol that that entails!

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Daniel Burns at www.Burns-Mediator.com proudly serves the following counties and towns in Upstate New York - RENSSELAER COUNTY New York - Averill Park NY 12018, Berlin NY 12022, Brainard NY 12024, Brunswick NY 12180, Buskirk NY 12028, Castleton NY 12033, Cherry Plain NY 12040, Cropseyville NY 12052, East Greenbush NY 12061, East Nassau NY 12062, East Schodack NY 12063, Grafton NY 12082, Hoosick NY 12089, Hoosick Falls NY 12090, Johnsonville NY 12094, Melrose NY 12121, Nassau NY 12123, North Greenbush NY 12198, North Hoosick NY 12133, Petersburgh NY 12138, Poestenkill NY 12140, Rensselaer NY 12144, Sand Lake NY 12153, Schaghticoke NY 12154, Schodack Landing NY 12156, South Schodack NY 12033, Stephentown NY 12168, Taconic Lake NY 12138, Troy NY 12180, 12181, 12182, Valley Falls NY 12185, West Sand Lake NY 12196, Wynantskill NY 12198.

 

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